[fanmnwe]

I was born in Brooklyn NYC and moved to Ayiti. I lived there for 10 yrs. I have been back to the AmeriKKKa since 1980. My years hear have been marred by racism, ethnocentrism and all the isms that are brought on by Kapitalism. I was not encouraged to have zanmi here or in Ayiti. My family believed that they would overly influenced me and besides I had many relatives to play with at home. I don't miss the close friendships that are depicted in the media as being the ideal part of growing up. I've had friends from every corner of the world but they don't stay too long. At this time, I have children and I've been in a relationship with their father for almost ten years and I'm glad that he too is of Haitian ancestry. I believe that because I am of Haitian descent many would be friends were skeptical about what they could gain from associating with me. Conversely, I did not seek them out because I feared being rejected. I still see the pity and disdain in the eyes of would be acquaintances because of my ethnic heritage. They associate my ethnicity with blackness and poverty and a controversial history. My college years were very enlightening since most of the progressive black students read about the black revolution that gave birth to Ayiti. Instead of equality, most of those old haters became advocaters of pan-africanism to rain on my "ethnic pride" parade. In other words, I feel resented by many so-called conscious blacks because of my ethnicity as a Haitian. I pray that Ayiti is free oneday soon. Until then, I will raise my children to speak Kreyol and to know their culture and history and to be proud no matter what. It is their legacy and the work of their ancestors.