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[Odler]

While we are mourning the death of fashion designer Bill Blass, it seems that another lesser-known designer, Mrs. Presley, is alive and well. Mrs. Presley is supposed to be dead. She allegedly passed away in the late 1970s, 45% from breast cancer and 55% from the fooleries and infidelity of her husband, Gerald Presley, eminent skirt chaser in the face of the Holy Lord.

My mom would frequently take me over to Mrs. Presley's house, as frequently as I would have preferred not going. Mrs. Presley's role in my neighborhood was to make every member of the female species look like Elizabeth Taylor, Brigitte Bardot, Marylyn Monroe, Gina Lollobrigida, or even sometimes all of four at once. Mrs. Presley was the official stylist for several square miles around.

One would bring her any magazine with a full picture of Marylyn, Gina, Elizabeth, Brigitte, Jackie O., or any other glamorous lady of the times, and Mrs. Presley would reproduce the outfit, in its most intimate details, in fabrics bearing such names as percale.

Mrs. Presley's popularity was matched only by the bitterness of the recriminations that would be leveled at her when the Sunday gown, or the afternoon two-piece would be ready. The right side sometimes would be longer than the left, the bust would not "seat", the buttons would not match, the zipper would be too short, or the whole thing would reveal too much of an anatomy not quite compatible or similar to the anatomy of the model wearing the dress the piece was inspired from.

Nobody was quite happy with Mrs. Presley, but one had to figuratively stand in line in order to get into her waiting, ordering, and fitting rooms.

I can't quite remember what happened upon Mrs. Presley's demise, or who replaced her in the designer's Who's Who. In any event, I have come to believe that Mrs. Presley (like the King her homonym) is alive. I have not seen her, but I have seen her unique marks, the inimitable traits of her craft.

Yes, Mrs. Presley is the only one who could have designed and produced the shirts worn by the guys of the Cameroon soccer team and the short sported by Luis Figo. They look tight, they don't "seat", the right side is invariably longer than the left, and of course they must be made out of percale...

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(OdlerRobert Jeanlouie, Thursday, June 23, 2002)