If Regis Were to Ask

Odler · #1 03-12-02, 06:26 AM

Regis:

Now for one million dollars: What do you remember about Portugal's history? For one million dollars! Do you want to be a millionaire? By the way, you have no more life line left...

You:

Portugal´s name comes from Comitatus Portaculenis, which clearly

in Latin (for those proficient in the Dead Language) referred to a

region around the Roman seaport of Portus Cale. The first time the

name was in the news was around 200 BC.

In the 7th century of our era, the country was invaded by the

Visigoths, then by the Moors.

(Historical footnote: When the Moors or the Visigoths take over a

Western country, it is seen as an INVASION. When a western country

invades a non-western country, it is called a DISCOVERY.)

In 1093, the French freed Portugal from the Moors. But, the country was

promptly taken over again by Spain.

Portugal accessed to independence in 1139, a status ratified by the Treaty of Zamora.

Vasco da Gama, in 1497, reached India traveling eastward, instead of going the usual, longer westward route. He used caravels, the kind of new light vessels Christopher Columbus used five years earlier to reach the Americas.

In 1500, Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered Brazil. He knew he had

reached Brazil, because of many throng bikinis he found on the

beach where he accosted.

In 1807, Napoleon threatened to invade Portugal. The king flew

to Rio de Janeiro; he never came back. History records that the king was a smart king, since only a non-smart king would leave Rio for Portugal (that is only a joke).

When the king-less people of Portugal clamored to have their king

back, the new king, Pedro I, preferred sending in his 7 year-old

daughter, Maria, a fact in history that demonstrated some people

would give up their throne, instead of giving up Copacabana.

Eventually, the Portuguese got mad at the whole king thing. In 1910,

the army and navy killed the new king and made Portugal a republic.

No one is sure what useful a move that was, since the king was no longer being used anyway...

(The Traveller, Sunday, February 10, 2002)