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[Odler]

?Smoking is forbidden in this building by Royal Decree 19288, except

in designated locations.? said the menacing voice in the overhead

speakers of the North Tenerife Airport.

I looked around; no one was smoking! Really! In Europe, where 200%

of the adult population smokes (percentage of smokers is even higher

among adolescents and newborns), the ?No Smoking? signs are never

respected, not even in restaurants and Internet cafes. It is as if a

royal decree makes all the difference.

It made me think that here in Nueva York, and Nueva Jersey, we may

also be in need of a king for the sole production of a few royal

decrees.

I am thinking of two of them to start with:

(1) Leaving your cart in queue, in order to get other foods, goods, and products that you did not originally noticed on your discount coupons clipped from your Sunday paper, is forbidden in this super-market, by Royal Decree 2-for-5.99-plus tax.

(2) Driving your car in the fast lane in such a way as to provoke traffic delay for those of our citizens who are tired and need to be home with their family, or cause irritation to royal subjects who have a job and need to be in office before their boss gets there, is forbidden on this expressway, by Royal Decree no-less-than-50-miles-an-hour-in-the-left-lane!

We will need an announcer with a grave, deep voice, gifted with a butler monarchic accent, like the one in Spain. That would make it more ominous for the would-be offender.

What do you think?

(The Traveller, Saturday, February, February 17, 2002)