Home »

[Odler]

If you are female, 33 (or older), single, and looking for a life partner, the probability for you to be successful in your matching searches is statistically less than 33%. In fact, this probability is better if you have already been married. It is much worse (1/150) if you have two children or more.

These latter odds are the same as catching HIV in a non-monogamous relationship. That gives a 33-year old mother of two, active on the dating scene, a likelihood of 1.5% to be HIV positive, if she does not practice safe sex.

If such is your situation (female, 33, looking), you may be making some strategic mistake, in your search for love. A thorough review of your behavior may identify your Achilles? heel, and brings you happiness-forever-ever-after. In clear, make sure you are not doing one of the following. If you are; you are your own handicap.

1. You think you look so great. Understand that what you see in your mirror every morning is what you used to see five (or ten) years ago. You don?t know (or you don?t accept) the difference. Guys do.

2. You fail to realize whom you are competing against. Your 22-year old niece is on the same market as you are.

3. The ideal guy you dated some time ago (you remember the rich, smart, tall, handsome, dark fellow) has become your bottom line. You think if you could have dated him, you could have married him. He is whom you want. Wrong! He never saw the relationship the way you saw it. What was for you the epitome of love, was only a rebound for him, a one-night stand (or a month-stand) of meager importance. Don?t think he dumped you because you did something wrong. Please, get over him; move on. He won?t come back. He does not want you.

4. By the way, forget about the rich, smart, tall, handsome, dark guy. He is a figment of your imagination (or gay). Think about it, if such a guy really existed, why would he settle for you? How perfect are you? (How unrealistic are you?) You should search for less.

5. You are getting financially secure. You own your house. You have already lost some monies in the NASDAQ. You want someone who is making three times as much as you are. Sorry, you won?t get that. You are most likely attracting a bunch of gold diggers in jacket, with murky past, and cloudy history of child support and alimony. They want you to pay for their car.

6. You earned a PhD, an MBA, or whatever degree that gives you great self-confidence, and increases your sense of worth. You keep saying: ?I am such a good deal.? Wrong! Men care more about your skirt length and your brand of underwear (or the lack thereof) than about your degrees. Don?t be smart; just be sexy.

7. You are full of irritating mannerisms (do you pick your nose?). You are too set in your ways. You don?t listen. You think you know everything. You keep doling unsolicited advice. You don?t accommodate. You have lost spontaneity. Sorry, you sound like mom. Guys don?t want mom. Be more trendy, more high-tech, cooler? And stop complaining about his music.

8. You make too much of a big deal about sex. If you go out with a guy, understand that is what he wants first. The rest comes later. And remember what you save, often devalues. Don?t keep it unused; invest it. You may be surprised of the results.

9. You lie too much; and you are not that smart. Guys see clearly through your headaches, twice weekly periods, cousin?s impromptu visits, quick out-of-town weekender, lack of baby sitter, and phone breakdown. Don?t explain to anyone that was your plumber who picked up your phone at 6:00 a.m. What was he plumbing?

10. You forget you used to be 23, and you will be 43, then 53. Guys don?t care; they pick. Pushiness does not pay?

http://www.jeanlouie.com/

(OdlerRobert Jeanlouie, Wednesday, July 17, 2002)