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[Odler]

http://www.jeanlouie.com/

Anyone opposing the idea of the United States invading Iraq is a

coward, an idiot, an imbecile, and a constipated gourmand. (The last

expletive is difficult to prove, so are the first three ones.

However, the sentence sounds pretty captivating as an introduction.

Therefore we will keep it.)

Saddam Hussein has willfully dishonored his words by not abiding to

the agreement signed after the Gulf War, and by expelling the

inspectors from the United Nations. This is not tolerable in our

world of law and order. Saddam has ignored a UN resolution. Saddam

has sinned. Saddam must be punished. End of story?

After solving the problem of Iraqi disobedience, we will need to go

after Israel. Israel, for 30 years, has been ignoring resolution 242

of the United Nations that requires that it give back the land it

took from the Palestinians during the Six Day War. Israel should be

punished.

After the Israeli we will need to destroy the Chinese. They also

harass their own people. Don?t they? Moreover, they also have amassed

weapons of mass destruction, and they have been looking for an excuse

to invade Taiwan. As far as UN resolutions are concerned, they can?t

care less.

After China, we will invade Guatemala, Tahiti, and Cancun. Why? It

is only a terrific idea. We need to invade, fight any country that

does not do things the way we tell them to.

How do we go by kicking all these redundant posteriors?

The projected cost of the war is 200 billion dollars. I don?t know

about you, but I have no willingness to spend such money of my taxes

going after Saddam and his clique.

I just don?t have it! Half of my paycheck goes into taxes, and I

still have to pay for my own health insurance. I don?t have dental

insurance. Gas prices are twice as high as they were before the Gulf

war. My retirement funds are fakir-thin, and for me to watch

Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston at the movies, I have to pay

8.75. For each one of them! So, sorry I have no money left for war.

How then do we solve the problem? Like in ancient Rome. Gladiator-

ly.

Bush, Powell, and Cheney will affront in a closed ring Saddam,

Mohammed and Ahmed. Full contact combat. All coups allowed: karate

kicks, boxing jabs, earlobe bites, spitting in the face, neck lock,

etc.

The winning team will get to do whatever it wants with the weapons of

mass destruction, such as displaying them in a science show, write a

book about them, or sell them on E-bay as Christmas gift.

The alternative for the whole damn Iraqi thing is to tell

Saddam: ?Listen Hussein, you are making nuclear bombs, smallpox

cigars, and anthrax bras. That?s fine; keep making them. But, if one

of these babies causes any harm to any U.S citizen, we will delegate

to Baghdad one these megaton H bombs (of which we have several

hundreds). Just a small, teeny, tiny one. And I am telling you,

Hussein, one minute after it reaches there, Hiroshima and Nagasaki

will be a Garden of Eden in comparison to Iraq.?

Let?s bet Saddam would listen. The Soviets did. That is how we won

the Cold War. Dissuasion. Persuasion. Not invasion.

http://www.jeanlouie.com/

(OdlerRobert Jeanlouie, Sunday, September 15, 2002)