Home »

[bana2166]

Goldberg to buy Haiti

Sun 04/01/2007 00:01PM

On the heels of saving Aspen's live music scene, Michael Goldberg has announced his plans to buy the failed nation-state of Haiti.

"Haiti may be a little run down, but I think a non-smoking environment and a $50-million sound system could get this country back where it needs to be," said Goldberg. "And booking Jimmy, I mean Freddy and the Fishsticks for a New Year's show will attract some serious sugar mommas. We'll be in the G-8 in no time."

Goldberg is said to have consulted hip-hop Haitian and Fugees' founder Wyclef Jean in negotiating his final offer for the country. Unconfirmed reports say that Wyclef will assume the post of Minister of Culture.

In related news, confirmed reports say that the Fugees will play Belly Up on April 31. General admission is $485. Limited reserve seating is available for $22,000, plus a vial of your own stem cells, and any leads you may have on a vintage Ferarri. Goldberg noted: "We just have too much damn money."

[bana2166]

Come down People .... Today is April 1 - April Fool (Poisson D'Avril)

[haitiwebs]

I wanted to announce that Google was buying Haitiwebs for 20 millions :-)