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[Lei Lei]

LAW 24

PLAY THE PERFECT COURTIER

It is human nature for people to migrate and want to be around power. Sometimes people even put themselves at the brunt of jokes, and become the fool for someone else just so that they can be around those of power. Being a fool is not only being the jester. Being the fool can be anywhere from costing yourself you, mentally, emotionally or physically. Ie, doing things that you wouldn't normally do. Doing things that morally you would done. Doing things that you socially would have never committed to. For those of you that are powers flunkies you must always remember that after a while it will become a struggle to please the one in power, because there is always someone else also trying to do the same. The competition is fierce. No that being a "courtier" is a dangerous game that can cost you, you. You must remember to do, but not do to much. You must remember to obey but stand out. You must always insure that you do not make those in power feel insecure. At the same time you must understand your position. You must know that if you play the game right that you are in a position to manipulate those in power. Having that gift will cause people now to fear the power that you posses. You must learn to be a " magician of appearance" since most things are judged on that. You must be gracious and polite with your aggression being veiled and indirect. You must learn to be a "Master of word" knowing not to say more than necessary and getting the most out of a compliment or hidden insult. You must become a magnet of pleasure and make people want to be around you because you know how to please. Just make sure you do not "fawn" or "humiliate" yourself. Once you master this, you actually become more powerful than those in power.

Do's and Don'ts In Being the Perfect Courtier

Avoid ostentation. Do not talk about what you do or have done too much because it will draw suspicion to you and your cause. You will make people envy you, and cause your peers to in"induce treachery and backstabbing." Talk less about yourself and your achievements, stay modest.

Practice nonchalance. Never seem to be working too hard. Though you do have to watch this one, because when it appears too easy, even the ones at the bottom of the crap bucket think they can do what you do. Find a median between making it look easier, and you being a genius. Sometimes people want to see how hard you work, sometimes they are threatened by it.

Be Frugal with Flattery. Too much flattery does not pull as much weight as regular flattery. Don't make it a dime a dozen. Don't take it a dime a dozen. Shift some flattery you were given back to the person giving it.

Arranged to Be Noticed. Position yourself to becoming a piece of the wood work. Place yourselves in places that people just so happen to noticed you as their eyes wondered. Do not make scenes or call attention to yourself. But do find a way to get yourself noticed without being loud.

Alter Your Style and Language According to the Person You Are Dealing With. Everything is not for everybody. Everybody can't get it the same way. Everyone is not of the same qualifications or capabilities, so you must adjust, you must adjust accordingly. If you don't, you run risk of offending people above you or even below you depending on where you are on the totem pole. This change is not lying, its adjusting. Just like when you start to progress, you are going to find that some people will be telling you that you've changed. It's not that you've changed, its just that you've evolved and adjusted. Learn the art. It is a craft to learn to adjust and understand that behavior and judgment are not universal.

Do Not Be the Bearer of Bad News. They do kill the messenger sometimes. Let someone else do that. If you must, find a crafty way to do it and don't do it all the time. You don't want every time they see you, they figure that it must be something bad.

Never, Never Affect Friendliness and Intimacy with Your Master. Each role has a position. Know your position before you take the position, if you take the position. A friend is a friend. A subordinate is a subordinate. Know your place. If things change, get an agreed upon upgrade. Do Not Get Too Comfortable. You will get shut or put down. If you must give praise to more than one person do it equally for their warranted strengths. You do not want to run risk of offending.

Don't be Stupid. Never Criticize Those Above You Directly. Even though there are times to go against this you must find a way to do it graciously. Honest can be a fools game when it comes to dealing with those in power above you. Never think because one asked you for your honest opinion that they really wanted your accurate observation. When criticizing if it must be done make it impersonal and indirect . The one in power will never see that you are criticizing the act they will think that you are criticizing the person...them...

Be Frugal in Asking Those Above You for Favors. There are a couple of things to this. Sometimes it is a messed up feeling for someone you care for or are close to ask you for something that they can not or are not in the position to give you. In a case like this do it the opposite way, make sure they can give to you, so they feel good about it. In another example, sometimes people get asked so much that they get tired of being asked, so in a case like that, what you will want to do is plead a suggestive case and let them offer to assist or give. But definitely do not ask for something for someone else. Do not let for the one you are asking to have the opportunity to turn you down.

Never Joke About Appearances or Taste. These are subjective and you run risk of offending. Keep your comments to yourself. You will live longer.

Do Not Be the Court Cynic. Don't criticize. Treat criticism like judgement. Only that above you, should do so. If asked and it must be done do it constructively, and suggestingly with an opinion on how to improve. Do not be over zealous either because it might not seem genuine.

Be Self-Observant. Know you. Know you. Know you how others see you and the things you do. Study you constructively. Listen to others opinions of you intuitively.

Master Your Emotions. You must be that actor or actress. Convincingly cry, laugh on command when appropriately. You must be able to both disguise your anger and frustration and fake contentment. You must, something that is had for me, real hard for me, "master your own face." My face tells on me every time. I may control my mouth put my face, my eyes tend to tell it all.

Fit the Spirit of the Times. If you are going to demo the past in opinion or fashion and style you must go at least 20 years back. Two eras. You want it to look intentional, not because it was the first thing that you grab. You will make a fool out of yourself by being and looking outdated. There is noting wrong with being too forward either. Just don't be too adamant. They won't understand yet. You have to give them room to catch up.

Be a Source of Pleasure. Though there are a few of us that stick around and are a gluttony for punishment, normally it is human nature that we run from what is unpleasant and distasteful. Make yourself the pleasant sent that draws an individual, even if it is only for idle curiosity. If you master these not everyone will be able to be like you. Not everyone will have the charm and the wit, like you. Learn to control your unpleasant qualities and obscure from them whenever necessary.

Do what you were suppose to do. Do your job to the best of your abilities, try not to do more than necessary all of the time. You must leave some of your talents to be discovered. At times you must be underestimated. If you put everything up front, what does a person need to shop for. They already know what you have and are working with. Before working or suggesting they already qualified and passed you over thinking that you can not do or assist.

Remember, it will be a mistake to believe that only the one above you can determine your fate. Your equivalents, your subordinates can have a play in the game. Remember that their will be a slew of resentments, fears, and power full envy surrounding you. You will be playing a game with people who may want to harm you, so "deflect their resentment and envy, and divert their hostility onto other people." "How many of the greats have been felled by envious colleagues? Don't fall victim. Don't do it to yourself. In this game you must be able to play with appearances, only letting those around you see what you want them to see. Don't let people in on your secrets to your tricks. Don't get caught in your plots. "Apply the utmost attention to covering your tracks, and never let your master unmask you.

A mask will draw attention to you. You face is your mask in a foreign territory.

"A man who knows the court is master of his gestures, of his eyes, and his face; he is profound, impenetrable; he dissimulates bad offices, smiles at his enemies, controls his irritation, disguises his passions, belies his heart, speaks and acts against his feelings. Jean de La Bruyere, 1645-1696