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[ania]

Sociologist Melvin Kohn found that working class parents are mainly concerned about their children's outward conformity. They want their children to be obedient, neat and clean, to follow the rules, and to stay out of trouble. To make their children obey, they tend to use physical punishment. In contrats, middle-class parents focus more on developing their children's curiosity, self expression, and self control. They are more concerned about the motivations for their children's behavior, and they are more likely to reason with their children than to use physical punishement.Wich education you will choose to educate your child or chlidren?

wich one your parents choose to educate you? .

[TiCam]

Ania,

You'll find working parents in all classes in society, lower class, middle class, upper middle class, etc.

[ania]

I think T-cam in the working class parents they are moore focus in this criteria then others

[nate]

I will choose the working class parents method

[TiCam]

OK!

Even though my parents are professionals, which put them I believe in the middle or upper middle class, they stressed mostly in communications. However, I received a mix of both of these, it is mostly due to their background being born and raised in Haiti. I can only remember my mother spanking me once. My father, never. My children will never be raised with the emphasize on corporal punishment, commands, etc., I would stress toward a different pattern. I would rather stress on communications, values, creativities, role expectations, etc.

[Noudweront]

Originally Posted by nate

I will choose the working class parents method

Middle class society view this form of parenting as "abusive". Doctors, lawyers, judges (all the people who will determine our and our children's future are middle class). The striving democracies have the largest middle classes. Reaching and expanding the middle class are markers of development.

[ania]

My parents used both on me

I know for sure I will use both. like my parents always said:"pito se pitit ki kriye jodi an tan se yo ki kriye demen."

I will not spank my child to death

I will not use iron, cigarettes, knife..........

I will not abuse my child

but that child will receive some slap if he deserve it.

[TiCam]

Originally Posted by ania

I will not abuse my child

but that child will receive some slap if he deserve it.

Ania, my reaction... hw3

You should then read Why Spanking Doesn't Work by Dr. Michael D. Marshall, PhD.

Marshall a professor of psychology at West Liberty State College, and psychologist in private practice, drew on his professional knowledge, research, and experience to help him write Why Spanking Doesn?t Work.

In addition, this is what he says about slapping:

?I have spent countless hours in psychotherapy sessions trying to help patients break the cycle of family violence fostered by the belief that hitting children is proper,? says Marshall. ?Spanking teaches children that violence is the solution to behavior problems.? Just as the Hydra, a mythological Greek serpent, grew two new heads for each one that was cut off, the use of spanking to ?slay? children?s misbehavior results in the same trap for parents. Not two, but 13 unwanted behaviors spring up to take the place of the punished behavior. These undesirable side effects include aggression, antisocial behavior, and masochism.

?Is slapping a good way to discipline??

?The word discipline, comes from the root word disciplinare ?to teach or instruct? What do we teach when we use corporal punishment??

?Spanking teaches children that violence is the solution to behavior problems.?

?Spanking makes children?s behavior worse, not better,? says the Wheeling, West Virginia father of four. ?Unfortunately, by not realizing this sad fact, parents often respond by spanking more, not less. This results in a vicious cycle of violence as boys grow up learning to impose their will on family members through intimidation and physical punishment.?

_______

For a good laugh about slapping please login to:

http://www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk/slap/slap.htm

[ania]

I am really sorry T-cam

The talk do not work evrytime

like I said before sometime they deserve it.

My dad spanking me only once that day I really deserve it

My mom Spanking me more than once. I was not abuse for that

[Lei Lei]

Working class is "typically referred to a section of society dependent on physical labor, usually a section of society dependent on physical labor," so the parents are tired.

"Working class parents are mainly concerned about their children's outward conformity."

Working class parents aren't usually home. They are at work. Most of the time working parents know that if a child acts out in public they blame the parents. Knowing that they are not home as much, they make sure they focus on the Child’s public behavior, since that is what society will see and blame them for. As long as the child is "obedient, neat and clean, to follow the rules, and stay out of trouble" the parents feel as though they have done their jobs.

"To make their children obey, they tend to use physical punishment", they are not there a majority of the time and they do not communicate as much with their children. I agree, we do tend to dish out physical punishment a lot sooner and quicker than that of what they call the middle class because we don't have time or patience to let a child be grown. What I mean by that is me personally, the age doesn't matter, if you see me coming the first time you committed the offense and you do not run, I will talk to you nicely, since more than likely you didn't know what you were doing or you would have ran when you seen me. The second time I see you doing the same bad thing again I am going to scream on you and at you, because I talked to you already. The third time, you commit this same bad offense, you are getting a beaten. There is no if ands or buts about it. The talking didn't do it, maybe the beaten will be the next times deterrent.

"In contrast, middle-class parents focus more on developing their children's curiosity, self expression, and self control." A majority of the time middle class parents one of them is home, most of the time if not all of the time. Middle class is often encompasses merchants and professionals, bureaucrats, and some farmers and skilled workers.

"They are more concerned about the motivations for their children's behavior, and they are more likely to reason with their children than to use physical punishment" They think with their status they are more refined and try to take a more refine approach. There is nothing wrong with that. However, how many times should one talk, plead and beg a child, not to do something? Try to recall the last time you were in public and child was throwing a tantrum; can you recall if the parents looked like the working class or the middle class? The middle class was probably explaining to the child why they could not have it and the answer wasn't good enough for the child because the child wanted what they wanted and the working class just said no I said you can't have it because of ........and the child continued so the parent probably gave them now a reason to cry.

How do you know when a child is bad? A child in my opinion is bad when they commit a bad act irregardless of where they are and or who's around. A child that knows better is a child that selectively chooses when and where to act bad, and in front of whom they are committing these acts in front of.

0 to 10 Kids do as they are told

11 to 13 Kids think about disobeying their parents

14 to 17 Kids disobey and rebel against their parents

18 to 25 Kids do want they want because they think they are grown

Me myself I have 5 Kids ages 5 to 18.

0 to 10 I show and tell them what to do

11 to 13 I show and tell them what to do but I start asking their opinions

14 to 17 I show and easy up on telling them what to do as I ask their opinions and start

letting them make their own decisions on some things

18 to 25 I show and give advice on what to do, expressing our opinions on the

subject at hand and support them on their decisions and let them know that I

will be their back bone.

Now remember, these are not facts, they are just my opinions. We are after all, entitled to one. This is just what so happen to work for me. And like I said considering I have 5 with one getting ready to go to Princeton University or Penn State, and we are in a gang infested area this working class formula has been proven to work for me.